The truth is, you hadn’t meant to make Konoha an ally. Not really.
Konoha is, after all, the village that brought up Orochimaru. Did nothing but turn their heads to his experiments, pretending he wasn’t slowly losing his mind and his morals.
Konoha’s failure brought destruction over your whole country yet they like to blame you for it, not the man who caused it all.
Well… they don’t exactly blame you.
But if your father’s blood runs through your veins, there’s nothing you can do about the blame attached to it.
“I am the Daimyō of the Land of Sound,” you declare at the gate, its size another slap in the face. Oh, how mighty you are, Land of Fire. But you still need a gate to keep us out, still use a gate to keep your people in.
And you suppose their doubts are not unfounded. You’re not wearing any fancy clothes, come bearing no treasures, unguarded to the untrained eye.
But you won’t spare any fancy things on a country like this.
-
“We were not notified of your father’s death,” the Hokage explains, grey-haired and lazy-eyed. Kakashi of the Sharingan.
You wonder if he’s seen through you already; if the Sharingan is truly as mighty as they all say. Orochimaru, after all, died for it.
“So far only the Daimyō of the Land of Rivers has arrived. You are pretty early. I’d like to assist you in your protection, offer you one or two Shinobi.”
You want to deny it, before thinking better of it. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
“One would be enough.”
“Alright. Shikamaru, who do we have? And don’t forget, only the best of the best for a Daimyō.”
“Team 8 just came back in. Genma’s-”
“Team 8 would be perfect,” Lord Sixth turns back to you, “I assume you want to pick them yourself?”
“Affirmative.”
-
Shikamaru, just as lazy-eyed as the Hokage he’s supposed to be advising, has gathered a few more Shinobi it seems. Or maybe this is a test.
It’s not hard to figure out who belongs together, their familiarity hard to ignore.
There’s a blond girl who’s not afraid to slap the hands of a boy reaching for a snack. He looks sweet, circles on his cheeks indicating that he belongs to the Akimichi Clan. The pink-haired girl and the blond guy are standing too close for it to be accidental and though you can practically feel the Chakra coming off him in waves it’s clear that he cannot keep quiet for even a second.
A white dog takes up the space two people could occupy. Its eyes stare right back into yours and as if trying to give you a hint, it winks at you. Its owner is just as chatty as the blond guy, but the other two people belonging to his team - the connection is undeniable - are calmer, used to staying in the back.
Dark glasses reflect your own face. It’s hard to tell what this guy’s thinking, but you don’t dare to assume he’s underestimating you. If anything, he might be the first to have you figured out.
Behind him, half-hidden, lavender eyes peer back at you, sadness pooling in their milkiness. She reminds you of your mother though looking nothing like her and the pang of loneliness is strong enough to make you move.
“Yes?” Shikamaru turns.
“The Hyuuga,” you call out, bones still shaking with emotion. Are they all like that? Or is it just her?
-
Hinata is a quiet presence at your side.
She doesn’t push herself onto you, though you cannot forget that she’s there and her silence only makes you crave noise even more.
“What does your name mean?” You ask when she leads you down the roads to the place you’re supposed to stay.
“A place in the sun, My Lady.”
“Were you born in the summer?”
“December 27th, My Lady.”
Winter, you have to close your eyes at the thought, a shiver running through you, how fitting.
“Do you like the snow?” The question has slipped out of your mouth before you can stop it, a sensation scary and unfamiliar.
Her eyes light up for a second, the ghost of a smile passing over her face.
“I love it.”
Loneliness claws at your heart so unexpectedly that you stumble. She’s at your side in a second and you barely manage to fight her off before she touches you.
She might have been warm to the touch. You wouldn’t have been able to take that.
-
You realize your error late at night.
To have only one Guard means that she cannot go home, get rest, or take a break.
Is it selfish though, that you want her to yourself a little while longer?
You’ve managed to get her to drop the formal title over Dinner and though you’re sticking to steamed rice and green tea she doesn’t mind conversing over the food that is offered.
“We are famous for our roasted chestnuts,” she explains. “At least that’s what Temari says.”
“Temari?” You take a sip of the tea, heart thundering at the possibility that it could be poisoned. Though Hinata’s shared quite a few cups with you and she’s fine.
“Shikamaru’s fiancée, she’s from Sunagakure.”
It’s only in the morning that you regret your decision.
Hinata’s passed out by the kitchen table, hair fanned out over the dark wood, her pale skin a stark contrast.
You cannot wake her without making known that she slacked on the job.
This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.
Konoha might not be your enemy, but it’s not your friend, not supposed to be for a long while.
After all that has passed, after all that you’ve been through, you cannot lose your mind to the first girl with sad eyes.
But, your mind whispers back, defiant, I’ve always wanted a friend.
-
“If you feel bad for falling asleep,” you threaten her the moment she blinks herself awake, “I will throw you out.”
“I-” she stutters, red flushing her cheeks, “I…”
“I’d rather have your opinion on who else to appoint,” you tell her matter-of-factly, “than an apology. I don’t like people who talk all the time and don’t listen to the important stuff. Who do you want as your companion on this job?”
Her eyes flitter around, a milky-white that makes your heart ache for your mother, the power of her hands, the first snow of the year.
“Shino… I pick Shino.”
“Shino it will be.”
-x-
“My Lady,” Shino puts a cup of tea in front of you and steps back.
Across from you, the Daimyō of the Land of Fire is stuffing his face with spicy noodles. And he’s not the only one scarfing down the impressive feast Konoha has prepared for them.
You, however, are only served steamed white rice and green tea, both prepared by Hinata and served by Shino because these are the only ones you can - barely - trust.
“Sad to hear of your father’s passing,” the Daimyō of the Land of Iron declares, wiping his mouth.
“I’m not.”
Silence falls over the room. The Daimyō of the Land of Lightning is a little slow on the uptake, the noise of his chewing obnoxiously loud.
“How… how did he die, anyway?” Someone asks. You direct your eyes at them, watch them shrink under your gaze. It’s the Daimyō of the Land of Water.
“He was sentenced to death for his crimes.”
“Crimes?”
“What else would you call what he did?” Your brows lift in question. They swallow nervously, so you allow yourself to elaborate.
“Sold his land and his people to an egoistic maniac. Did nothing to stop the madness when it started, instead profited off it. Or do you condone human experiments?”
“No, of course not, no.”
“Who…” The Daimyō of the Land of Fire clears his throat awkwardly, “Who’s the Otokage now? If Orochimaru is gone. And he’s gone, I understand?”
“Oh, yes, he is gone. As the position of Otokage and Daimyō cannot be held by the same person, my Sensei, Hirota Hitoshi.”
“Never heard of him,” someone mutters in the back and though you don’t smile, you can’t help but think that that’s how it’s supposed to be.
“So, the Land of Sound is struggling, right?” The Daimyō of the Land of Fire asks directly. “What gives you the idea?”
“You’re here.”
“Touché.” You smile, though it’s more a blaring of your teeth, “We are but a small country, looking for means to invent us new. Maybe we’ll go back to what we used to be before. The Land of Rice Fields had a nice ring to it.”
“Hmm… How many Shinobi do you have?”
“Oh, not many.”
“You might think that,” the Daimyō of the Land of Fire is not as stupid as he looks, “But I’d like a concrete number.”
You hesitate only for a second before you name it, knowing that it will change the trajectory of all oncoming conversations.
Their gasps of surprise don’t feel as satisfying as you had thought.
“We-”
“We’d like to form an Alliance,” the Daimyō of the Land of Earth declares before anyone else can get more than a word in.
You rise from your pillow.
“I’ll let you think about it,” you exclaim without a smile, “I need to rest now. Shino?”
His arm links with his, an unnecessary show of assistance. It’s the first time he’s touched you too, and quite bold for the man you’ve gotten to know over the last days.
But maybe he sensed something you’d blocked out, because your legs don’t want to work like they used to, your steps growing slower and slower as soon as the door closes behind you.
“Have I been poisoned?” You ask, the question slipping from your mouth without your intention, yet again.
“Not to my knowledge. I’d say you’re malnourished. You’ve eaten nothing but steamed rice for the last days, correct?”
“I’ve done it before,” you bite through your teeth, pushing yourself up. His arm stays linked with yours.
“I can take you to your place without anyone seeing,” Shino offers and though you can only see yourself reflected in his glaces, you accept. Hinata proposed him as your Guard, after all.
-
Hinata feeds you bone broth first, then Ramen, going so far as to gently pressure you into swallowing one spoonful after the other.
It doesn’t take long to find the source of your sudden weakness, an old injury opening.
Shino’s the one who calls in a medic, the same pink-haired girl you’ve seen on your first day. She’s remarkably quiet, checking you over with the eyes of someone who knows what they’re doing.
“If you talk about this,” you tell her with an air of someone who never gets denied a thing, “I’ll make sure you regret it.”
She huffs. “Don’t threaten me, I’m saving your life.”
“I’m saving my own life.”
Her eyes are green, spring-like in the worst way.
After all, spring is the death of winter, the end of all things you hold dear.
“This is Konoha-” she starts, only to be interrupted. Shino’s hand lands heavy on her shoulder, Hinata’s warm fingers curl around yours.
“Can we just focus on making her well for now?” She asks, her voice managing to be warm and cold at the same time, like sun on a winters day.
-
“Can you tell me about your education?” You ask when Sakura’s gone and you’ve grown tired of lying on your back. “Do you have a school or do you learn from your families?”
“Both,” Hinata explains, lowering a warm, moist towel on your forehead. It smells like lavender. “What, uh… do you want to know?”
“You’re going to be late,” Shino cuts in from the kitchen, a shadow in a shadow. “Naruto’s picking you up in half an hour.”
She doesn’t say it but you can see that she’s torn. Torn between staying and leaving, you think.
“Naruto?” You ask, thinking of the blond guy who couldn’t stop talking. “Your friend?”
“Boyfriend,” she explains, cheeks red, “But I can call of the date if you need me.”
“I won’t die tonight,” you exclaim, thinking it funny until she pales. “I swear, I’m fine. Besides, Shino’s here to watch me. Or do you have a date as well?”
He doesn’t answer and somehow that’s answer enough.
When the door closes behind her the room feels suddenly too small for the two of you.
“Were you trained by your family, Shino?” You ask, hoping that a different topic will get rid of whatever this is.
“Yes. Most families have special Jutsu that they train their children in. Isn’t it the same in the Land of Sound?”
“It is, but not everyone has a family to train with.”
“I understand.”
“Do you?” The question comes out harsher than intended. He doesn’t back down.
“I lost my brother in the war. My mother died when I was born.” His tone doesn’t ask for sympathy yet you cannot help but extend it to him. Your mother is the reason you survived.
“What’s your family's special Jutsu? You do have one, don’t you?”
Instead of an answer, he raises his arm. Dark dots appear on the pale skin. Only when they take flight do you realize that they’re insects.
One, two, three land on top of the blanket covering you.
You watch them move for a minute before you lift your own arm as well. Ice starts to cover it like a second skin, breaking off in flakes at first before you get the shapes right.
One, two, three perfectly formed ice bugs fly over to him, landing on his outstretched arm.
Your arm drops, exhausted from the task, the bugs vanish.
“Sleep,” he says, and to your embarrassment, you do so almost instantly.
-x-
You do not tell her - or anyone for that matter - but Hinata is the reason you agree to peace talks with the Daimyō of the Land of Fire.
It’s hard to rule a country of thousands, even more so when your heart belongs to only a few.
Would you throw it all way if it meant foregoing to fight her?
Would she even have to fight?
There’s too much to think about there.
But you suspect you’re not the only one who thinks like you.
Not when it becomes clear that the friendship between Naruto and the Kazekage is the main reason for the alliance between the Land of Fire and the Land of Wind.
I wish to stay, you write your Sensei, your words encoded, I have never felt like this before.
Love, and friendship do not care about distance, he writes back and you wonder how he already knows, long before you’ve admitted it to yourself.
“I will have to return soon,” you tell Shino after meeting with a few of the Kage’s, knowing the others are on their way to meet you.
Now that the Land of Sound is great again, a threat to the new Peace, everyone wants to settle their debts with you.
You’ve heard the rumors, mainly because Naruto cannot keep his mouth shut, about you. How you’re strong enough to be the Otokage but refused the Position - which is true - or how you only speak when asked - a blatant lie.
He nods, hands hidden in his sleeves where you cannot grasp them.
You’re out in public, the perfect picture of obedience, him traveling two feet behind you.
Hinata’s out with Naruto and you’re supposed to meet her somewhere, trusting Shino that he will lead you however he decides to do it.
“I’d like for you to accompany me.”
You can feel his eyes on you, curious this time. Sometimes they’re worried, sometimes they’re stern - when you refuse another helping of food or fight against Sakura’s advice - and sometimes, though still rarely, they’re warm, like sunlight falling on snow.
-
“I want to ask,” Naruto’s rubbing his nose, a clear indicator that he’s anxious, “If you’d do me a favor.”
“I won’t if you don’t cut to the chase.”
“Oh, ha, well…” he clears his throat, “I want to propose to Hinata. Ask her to marry me. And well… I want it to be special. Like nothing she’s seen before.”
“If you need money…”
“NO!” He pulls back as Shino steps forward, always on Guard. “No, no, not like that. It’s the beginning of early summer, but you probably know that Hinata loves Winter. I know you use Ice in your Jutsu, like Haku, I just… I thought maybe you could make it snow.”
“Ah,” you nod, understanding. “Winter in June, I get it. Yes, that can be arranged.”
“It can?”
“Of course, who do you think me for? But you’ve asked her father, right?”
“Of course!” He blushes right after. “He wasn’t too happy, but I suppose he never is.”
-
Is it surprising that Shino’s your shadow as you climb the Hokage Rock, the sight before you the village you used to despise? Not really.
His presence is as dear to you as Hinata’s, warm and reassuring when warmth used to be your enemy.
“I decided,” he tells you as you watch the sun rise, “I will come with you. Though my father insists to have me back after three months at the least.”
You grasp for his hand and it’s not hidden, warm skin against your cold.
Today might mark the happiest day - yet - for Hinata, but you suppose you can share that sentiment. You’re friends, after all.
-x-
Shino’s two feet behind you, shadow looming over you as you step into the gorge that marks the entry to Otogakure.
The sound of your footsteps, your breathing, the beating of your hearts reverberates around you until there is no more place for thought inside your bodies, until you only exist to hear.
You’ve missed it and loath it at the same time, the absence of Silence you’ve become used to.
Shino pulls you back, presses his chest against your back. You suppose he must struggle with it, the omnipresence of Sound. Everyone does when they come here. You either learn to live with it or you lose your mind.
You know that speech would only increase the problem, so you gesture to make yourself known. Lastly, you lean in, press your lips against the shell of his ears.
It’s nothing but a short lived remedy, more of a bold statement than a means to help.
But he is here with you, a living, breathing statement that someone chose you too.
-
You don’t want to say it, barely dare to think it, but he fits in.
Otonin are quiet, most of the time, every sound already increased tenfold by nature. They choose their words wisely, step quietly, breathe almost soundlessly.
Maybe that’s why you couldn’t help but be attracted to him.
Or maybe it’s the fire in his veins, the warmth he exudes when he pulls you in at night.
He’s got a separate room though you don’t know when he used it last.
.
But rumors travel even when no words are exchanged.
Some servants already call him the Lord and more than once you’ve witnessed Shinobi bow to him in respect as well.
It’s still hard to believe that their obedience is willing, that they’re not following you out of fear as they did with your father.
It gives you hope for the future.
Maybe, when the snow melts, there’s more to life than death.
-
“I need to leave,” Shino announces one morning over breakfast, a scroll next to his plate.
“When?” You ask, the tea suddenly leaving a shallow taste in your mouth, “For how long?”
“As soon as possible,” he offers you the scroll, “My father is in urgent need of my assistance. I cannot say how long it will take me.”
“Of course,” you manage to say, your mind swirling, a shiver settling in your bones. Have the rooms turned cold all of a sudden or is that something else, growing inside you?
“I will return,” he promises, conviction clear in his voice.
“Of course,” you reply almost mechanically, “And there’s Hinata’s wedding too.”
.
He’s gone within the same day, taking spring with him and summer too.
And it’s only now that he’s missing that you feel both their absences at once.
You wonder how Hinata’s feeling, if she even remembers you.
All her letters suddenly feel like they’re taunting you, reminding you of how much space there is between the two of you.
-
“It’s not unusual for the Daimyō to live outside of their hidden village,” Hitoshi offers when he visits, used to giving you advice from the day you could formulate a question. Maybe he did it even before that.
“In the same country, Sensei,” you remind him, still unable to call him Otokage as you should. Without him, you’d have no one here to trust even though he tries to make you believe something different.
“I heard the Kazekage is building a train from their Hidden Village to Village Hidden in the Leaves. Cutting the traveling time short.”
“It’s not the same.”
“No, dear, but it’s a start.” And he ushers you to your desk, all things already prepared.
If not for him, you might have lost your mind. Maybe you did. Maybe these projects are just signs of you losing what you never had.
Maybe you’re just a lovesick fool, all hope already lost.
.
I am thinking of you, always.
His letters are consistent, strong in their conviction, though not nearly as soothing to your heart as his presence would be.
When did you turn weak like this, brought to your knees by the absence of another?
You don’t doubt the servants are already talking about it.
How the Lady’s face has lost her glow in the absence of her lover.
You want to snarl at them but don’t. You’re not your father.
-
“I am the Daimyō of the Land of Sound,” you declare at the gate, though unnecessary. Your clothes scream of your wealth.
You will not dare to wear anything but the best to Hinata’s wedding.
“Welcome back,” the Guards greet you, their faces friendly.
The Gate no longer feels like it’s mocking you. Today it’s calling you home.
.
Is there a greater joy than to hug Hinata? Wrap your arms around her after months of missing her dearly, feel her heart beat strong, her breath com even?
“It’s so good to have you back.”
And for a few days, it’s like it used to be.
Walks in the park, her laughter in your kitchen as she insists on making you bone broth - “You’re not eating enough, I just know it.”
But life changes, all the time.
Shino sits next to you as her father walks her through the crowd, his hand warm in yours despite all the people around you.
If you don’t cry that’s only because the tears freeze to snowflakes in your lashes, little crystals reflecting the ice until Shino wipes them away with a careful fingertip.
He doesn’t talk much, not that he needs to. It’s enough to have him there.
-
“A speech,” the people call out.
Hiashi Hyuuga raises a glass. The Hokage. The Kazekage.
Finally, you raise your glass and the crowd falls silent.
“The only blessing I have for you is that you might stay the way you are. Courageous, believing in others…” You hesitate for a moment, feel a warm hand in the hollow of your knee, the only place where no one can see Shino’s innocent, comforting touch, the reminder that he’s here, too. “A place in the sun.”
You raise your glass a little higher, a sign for the others to drink on the lucky couple.
Snowflakes flutter down like the petals of Cherry Blossoms and with the burning red and gold of the autumnal forests behind you, it looks almost like the snow is falling on fire.
But it doesn’t melt.
And if that doesn’t give you hope, you don’t know what will.
.
One week later, just shy of your planned departure, Shino walks you through the forest behind his home, where sound is something so unfamiliar you can feel the Silence settle in your bones.
“I can never fully move to Otogakure,” he explains quietly, “Why? I am next in Line as the Head of the Aburame. I have to be home frequently.”
“I can never fully move to Konoha,” you offer just as softly, heartbreaking at the truth, “My country needs me, if not all the time then at least constantly.”
His hand is warm around yours, bugs tickling as they move from his skin to yours, crawling up and down until they form a slim, black, living ring around your finger.
“Before Konoha, the Aburame used to be nomads, traveling with the seasons, their life as hosts the most important thing. If you’re willing, I’d be open to a revival of this… in a different sense.”
A single tear escapes your eye, warm on your skin.
If you needed any reminder that he’s capable of melting your heart, you have it now.
Unable to form words you lift your joined hands and press your lips to his ringfinger, forming a ring of ice around it with your breathe.
Maybe later, when your hearts have settled, you will think about something permanent.
But, as Hitoshi would say, Love does not care about these things.
Love sees beyond.
